Ajax (aronkwak) wrote in dyskoimesis,

Step Back Chapter 15

Title: Step Back | Henry Lau and Kwon Ji Yong | PG-13 | Crossover: Big Bang/Super Junior | Crack pairing
“It’s weird…” Jiyong said. “I am not feeling dizzy as always…”
“Yet you still have the word ‘Hangover’ splattered throughout your whole face” Minji smiled.
Jiyong turned at her, jaw dropped and with a surprised look.
“Really…” he began. “You know more than a girl your age should” his face softened as he saw her grinning. “Sometimes it terrifies me…”
Minji pushed him playfully. Jiyong really liked being with her; they had been friends ever since Jiyong moved, which was about four years ago. Minji was four years younger than him as well, but that didn’t really matter since Jiyong was kind to children and liked to play and tag around with them. Minji told him if he ever wanted to earn some extra cash he would be perfect as a babysitter. Though most people preferred a female babysitter instead of a male one, seeing how great he was with children they’d surely ring him up again or recommend him to others.
Jiyong even considered that possibility, but due the amount of stress and work high school gave him that wasn’t even an option.
Minji laughed out loud, faking indignation.
“I am twelve years old already, oppa!” she bawled “I might not have as much experience as you do, but I know!”
“Oh, don’t come up with such thing” He replied in a harsh, playful tone. “You’re still a fetus”
“I’m not!” she bawled again. “I’m going to be in Junior High by next year!” she added, proudly.
Jiyong rolled his eyes.
“Well, it turns out I’m in High School already…and by next year I’ll be right in the second year haha” Jiyong stuck out his tongue. “You were born just too late”
Minji stuck her tongue out too to Jiyong. There was a moment of silence right after the two stopped laughing.
“Hey, Minji…” Jiyong started.
“Have you ever had this amazing friend whom you just like very much you can’t help it but being always with the need of being with them at anytime, anywhere?”
Minji looked at Jiyong, perplexed by the randomness of the question.
“No” she finally spoke out loud. “I mean, I really like my friends and everything, but not really to the point of needing them by my side always, that’d be creepy.”
Jiyong turned back at her, surprised.
“Really? You think so?”
“Yes, I mean, if you’re exaggerating in that thing then I guess I do feel that way with my friends, but if you really mean that ‘by their side always, anytime, anywhere’ then I guess you’ve got a problem”
“So…it’s creepy…”
“Yep.” She nodded. “He has a life and friends too, aside you”
“Oh, I see…” Jiyong lowered his head, then shot a glare at her.
“Wait, how did you know? He? When did I mention that it was me? And that it was a he?”
“Don’t freak out, oppa! Seungri told me. He said you befriended a cool exchange student and that he is really nice”
Minji smiled at him.
“He didn’t say anything else?” Jiyong asked again.
Jiyong’s  phone buzzed. ‘You’ve got a new message’ he could almost see his phone display with the announcement.
His face filled with glee.
“Minji…I think I gotta go now…” he apologized.
“It’s okay, oppa” Minji waved his hand. “Bye”
“Oh, there’s another thing I want you to know” he said before leaving.
“What is it?” she questioned, curious.
“If Seunghyun ever comes with some crap like ‘Jiyong’s got his heart broken by a pretty foreign boy’ please don’t hesitate in punching him for me”
Minji laughed out loud.
“Okay! I will!”
“This is ridiculous” Henry uttered. Arms crossed.
Ryeowook looked at him amusedly. Zhou  Mi grinned.
“Come on, it’s going to be funny, Henry!” Zhou Mi patted his arm playfully. Ryeowook shrugged.
“We don’t know him yet. What if we sense he’s not good for you?” he added. Henry rolled his eyes.
“Guys, I know how to take care of myself” seriously this was getting him in the nerve.  “I am not a little kid”
“Anyway, we want to know him!” Ryeowook kept pestering him. “We need to know what you’ve seen in seen in him that attracts you!”
Okay, that was enough.
“He is not my boyfriend, hyung; heck, I don’t even see him that way! He is just a friend!”
Zhou Mi smiled.
“Gosh, Henry! Have you ever noticed how the guy looks at you?” his accented Korean sounded funny to Henry’s ears. “It’s like he wants to eat you alive with his gaze! How creepy…”
Henry turned his head around, pretending to look around the shops of the street they were walking in. His face was flushed, not because he felt somehow flattered, but because he felt uneasy with Zhou Mi’s comment. Yes, he had noticed how the guy stares at him during classes, but he had never given it that much importance.
Given the fact how he used to stalk him, he thought it wasn’t harmful, or that at least it wasn’t something creepy. But, hey, hold on for a sec, how was Zhou Mi aware of those stares?
“Gege, how do you know that?” he asked, a bit angry. “I mean, when have you seen Jiyong-hyung staring at me?”
The two older boys smiled.
“It’s because you have spent a lot of him with him…I mean we had to know what was it that made you vanish from our gang like that!” Ryeowook shrugged.
“Oh my god, you sicken me”
“Seemingly you are into creeps as well” Zhou Mi replied.
“Shut it, will you?” Henry spat. “Okay, I am texting him right now, so if he agrees and comes over would you twostop being a pain in the neck?”
The two of them nodded.
*Bleck Berry Messenger*
On Saturday at 9:34am Young Bae said: Hey~ How’s the hangover?
On Saturday at 9:37am Ji Yong said: U know, not bad~
Young Bae: I’m glad ^^
Ji Yong: Gonna be out with Minji for a while, see ya!
YB: Okay~
On Saturday at 12:49pm Jiyong said: fdstugfsdsdfshdfsafdgh
YB: u ok
YB: What’s wrong?
YB: and so what?
JY: he asked me out…
YB: on a date???
JY: No, to meet some ppl
YB: y do u freak out then?
JY: because he has never asked me such thing before!!11!!1
YB: omg u r so childish
YB: it’s helpless…
YB: try not to screw up things, okay?
JY: ok
JY: I’m on my way
YB: Where?
JY:  Right in the next block after his house, I think.
YB: Good luck then, try not to look like a psycho.
Jiyong walked to the direction Henry gave him feeling insecure; he didn’t know what to do.
That night was very confusing to him, sure he did have a drink with alcohol on it, but he wasn’t used to get drunk so it was a little bit hard for him to concentrate.
The only thing he remembered was Henry thanking him for the evening, but then again he had this vision of Henry leaning closer and closer, right before everything turned blurry.
Perhaps it was just a dream, his intoxicated mind was playing trick on him; because that couldn’t be. Henry giving him a peck as a thank you right before Jiyong left? No way.
Perhaps he was a bit delusional, but he knew that wasn’t true.
Anyway, as he approached the destination, he would see Henry chattering happily with his friends.
Then his mind came up big a great idea; he was going to do what Henry did to him that day in the woods, when Jiyong parted in search of food and Henry freaked out.
A tall, skinny boy saw Jiyong approaching right behind Henry, but Ji was fast enough to put his index finger on his lips, as a signal to keep the tall boy quiet. It worked though.
The moment Jiyong placed his hands over Henry’s eyes, Jiyong could feel how the younger gave a tiny jump. He had taken him off-guard. Henry placed his hands right on Ji’s and he tried to decipher who was the one who just covered his eyes.
Ryeowook and Zhou Mi giggled.
Oh, right. Must be Jiyong.
“Hyung! Let go of me!”
“Okay, okay” Jiyong laughed. Henry hit him playfully in the neck, gritting in a high pitched voice as Jiyong messed his hair playfully.
“And Henry expects us to believe they ain’t an item?” Zhou Mi whispered to Ryeowook in a low voice. Ryeowook just shrugged as he saw the two young men play along.
Zhou Mi faked a cough. Which made Henry notice their presence.
“Hey, these are my friends” said, starting the conversation “Kim Ryeowook; he’s in Seunghyun-hyung’s group, you might have seen him before.”
Jiyong bowed respectfully. Ryeowook did the same.
“And this is Zhou Mi; he’s in third grade, he’s not Korean, he’s Chinese, just like me, he’s an exchange student.”
Jiyong bowed as well.
“Hi, my name is Kwon Jiyong. Nice to meet you” Ji said as he extended his hand to shake both Ryeowook and Zhou Mi’s hand.
“You must be glad I didn’t bring all fifteen of us, though.” Henry said. “Most of them are already in college, but fortunately I’ve got to befriend most of them at school.”
“Your group sure is large” Jiyong commented.
“Yep, we’re a bunch of fifteen dorks” Ryeowook nodded. Then he looked back at Zhou Mi “Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Jiyong-ah, I’m looking forward to be your friend”
“So am I” Jiyong said.
“We have to go now” Zhou Mi said as he grabbed Ryeowook by the wrist, both of them walked away.
Leaving Jiyong and Henry dumbfounded.
“Did they…just walk away? Like that?” Jiyong asked, puzzled.
“I…I guess so…”
“What do we do now, then?” Jiyong asked, looking at Henry.
“Um…go out then?” Henry replied shyly.
Jiyong looked at Henry with perplexed eyes.
“Would you…go out with me today?” Henry asked, this time more confident.
Jiyong just shrugged.
Henry had always been that type of outgoing, hyper person. He could easily cut off the awkward, uncomfortable atmosphere without even trying. Perhaps that was the second reason why his mother made him go to all those extracurricular activities as a kid; besides not wanting her baby to stay at home not doing anything productive, she also might have wanted to tire the boy as much as possible in order to get rid of all the hyperactivity.
Not that Henry was hyperactive technically wise, he just had tons of energy to release and school activities weren’t enough for him. He thanked her mom for all of that, though, those classes made him skilled and, well, less boring.
He actually thought he would never find any person who didn’t make him feel uncomfortable or anything, because, to put it bluntly, he was just so likeable he made everyone laugh. Hence his growing popularity. Henry wasn’t used to being ignored or left out of conversation.
That was, of course, until he got in Korea.
More specifically, until he got in that school and met his friends –fourteen peeps who happened to be all nuts and weird, a cool American exchange student, and now more recently, a gang formed by five creepy, amazing dorks.
To put it more bluntly, until he got immersed into this unwanted relation with a certain idiot whom Henry liked a lot. Can you guess who is it?
Yes, you got it right, Kwon. Kwon Ji Yong.
And what did the guy did?
It was a very simple thing; he made Henry feel uncomfortable and awkward for the first time.
That is all.
It was funny because every time, now and then, he got to spend more time with him, so now he realized the boy wasn’t really that bad. But of course he wasn’t willing to admit it.
But now you have Henry asking Jiyong out. Who understands him, anyway?
He didn’t expect his hyung and gege to run away cowardly, giggling like school girls. Perhaps they are already spilling the beans on how Henry likes Jiyong a lot and people will start pestering him about ‘How is Jiyong?’, ‘Does he kiss good?’ or ‘Can you please set me up with his hot friend, the tall one?’. He didn’t know those people enough for nothing.
Anyway, now what? Jiyong is here. What’s next? Should he invite him to do some window-shopping or to the movies or…?
Because Jiyong is always so opportune, saving Henry from panicking and doing something very dumb.
“Wanna go to the book store with me? I’ve got some books I’d like to read and, well, I guess you could look for something…I think…”
Because wow, Jiyong liked reading? He always thought he was some sort of fashionable caveman with nothing inside his head. Henry restrained himself from saying so, though. He didn’t want to piss off his new friend.
Jiyong must’ve noticed the unbelieving glare Henry gave to him.
“Hey! I am not an air head! I do like reading!” Jiyong said with indignity. “What were you thinking?”
“Oh, I am sorry…I didn’t intend to…”
Because, well, how was he supposed to know what’s Jiyong into since he barely know anything about him?
Jiyong just gave him a warm smile.
“No problem, Henry” Damn, why does he have such a charming smile?
Henry had been thinking about what his feelings towards Jiyong were exactly. Ever since that day at the woods he found himself more and more uncertain about it.
At first Jiyong was like, invisible to him; then when they occasionally talked he seemed like a nice boy; when he found out about his stalking he despised him to no end; right after that day he started liking the boy again, Jiyong was very nice and polite, sometimes when he had to carry a lot of stuff back to his locker –which by the way was very far from the classroom Jiyong would help him out and carry on some with him.
They were friends, Henry was sure.
‘But friends don’t peck each other you idiot’
Oh, right. That…peck incident.
Henry was pretty sure he was intoxicated with something back then. He didn’t harbor any feelings towards Jiyong as of the moment, and as far as he could recall he only was a friend.
Yeah, it must have been it. Henry was intoxicated hence why he did what he did. Besides, it was just a peck; he didn’t steal Jiyong a kiss or something of the like. He was curious about Jiyong’s lips and required an answer immediately and that was all.
‘I was just doing some research’
Yeah right.
Now, Henry, just concentrate on the book that is in your hands…”Tolstoy’s War and Peace”
‘I have never read it before’ Though Henry was sure he heard her Literature teacher back there in Canada that it was a mandatory task to read that book in High School.
Well, now he was in Korea, and as far as he was concerned the teacher hasn’t asked -yet- that task.
Still, he wanted to read that book, it appeared interesting –‘I mean that’s why I bought it anyway’ and he liked how Tolstoy developed the storyline; Henry had read ‘Ana Karenina’ back in Junior High and it fascinated him, so reading another Tolstoy wasn’t going to be that bad…
Henry tried and tried to find again that part of the page he had just been reading, but couldn’t find it. He looked down at the bag and tried to find some other book he had bought on that book store earlier.
Much to his disappointment, only the Tolstoy was his, all of them were Jiyong’s property.
Henry was just too nervous to read. He glanced around, swung back and forth on his chair and played with his fingers.
He needed to do something else besides reading.
“Are you feeling alright?” Ji looked at him.
‘Of course not you fool, can’t you see?’ Instead Henry pulled out a smile and replied. “Yes, I am okay.”
“No, you’re not” Jiyong lifted his gaze from the book he was reading to face Henry.
“If you already knew, why do you ask me anyway?”
“I was just being polite” Jiyong shrugged. “Anyway, if you feel bad or something, I’ll walk you home, don’t worry…”
“I am just…bored…I need to do something, don’t feel like reading today”
Henry and Jiyong were both sitting on a table outside the bookstore; Jiyong was reading some book he just bought whilst Henry was swinging back and forth in anxiety.
“Do you want to do something?” Jiyong asked. “I’d like going to the movies…you know, it’d be fun”
With all honesty, Henry didn’t know what to do, so going to the movies wasn’t a bad idea at all.
“Yeah…there’s one I have in mind…”
The movie turned out as a fantastic one. He totally made a good choice and he loved it to no end.
The movie was about a boy who had lost his parents during war, but the King of the realm that was supposed to be the enemy found him on a temple and decided to adopt him. The boy grown up with the idea of being part of the family, yet he was always seen as the black sheep. The boy had an older brother who always got all the attention ever since kids.
As the two of them grew, the older was chosen as the heir of the realm, which pissed the boy a lot since his father promised both of them that they were born for it. Nevertheless he always favored the older, leaving the poor boy aside.
The boy had to struggle with his identity crisis and eventually found his path: the arts of Magic. He was born to be a wizard and eventually became the most powerful of all the realms known.
Okay not really, the movie was focused on the older brother, being the protagonist of the story, which pretty much pissed off Henry since he saw much more potential on the boy rather than the older brother. In fact he was fuming throughout the whole thing because the boy’s character was so underrated.
He could see the pain in his eyes as he eventually grew apart from his brother.
And, oh no, here it comes the worst thing.
“He’ll find out the truth” Henry squeezed Jiyong’s arm as he tried not to hyperventilate and squeal.
The sadness that overwhelmed the boy’s eyes as his father finally told him the truth about his past, about his ancestors.
Henry couldn’t reprimand a sob. Jiyong eventually squeezed his hand in order to give Henry strength, but Henry couldn’t help it that the actor was so good playing this character.
The boy was confused; suddenly everything that he once believed true was torn down and hence the tears that were rolling his cheeks.
Then the father passed out, and he was so confused he lost his track.
He became the villain.
Everything was happening so fast, Henry just couldn’t hold all the things he felt: pity, sadness, at certain point empathy…
Jiyong patted his back as the movie was played.
‘It’s not fair…what did he ever do to be treated like a traitor?’
Henry even had to get out of the function and head to the restroom. Firstable, he had to pee –because obviously having overwhelming feels throughout your chest whilst having ice tea isn’t a good idea. Then he had to calm down a little before going back to the theatre or else he’d have an emotional breakdown, he’d cry and scream like a kid whose puppy was just ran over by a truck right before his eyes.
It was too much…seeing how the poor boy, now a man, suffered because no one could comprehend him.
It was now the crucial moment, the protagonist –the older brother was going to leave his beloved one to fight against that man, to save his realm.
The moment they realized they loved each other was just too much and Henry sobbed silently, Jiyong drawing slow circles in his back, trying to recomfort Henry, occasionally emitting whimpers as well.
“It’s okay Henry, everything’s going to be okay…it’s just a movie, after all…”
No it wasn’t. The final scene, where the two brothers fight, and the boy reveals his frustration with his brother, just to be defeated later and fall from the bridge, right to the empty solitude of the non-existence.
God, it was so sad.
Right when the credits appeared and everyone rose from their seats and left, it was when Henry breathed heavily and whimpered; some tears fell from his eyes.
“Hey, are you okay?” Jiyong asked concerned.
“How can you ask such thing when it’s evident I am not?” Henry bemoaned. “Please help me to get up.”
Jiyong offered his arm and Henry took it. Both walked towards the entrance.
“How was the movie for you?” Henry tried asking. “You might already figure out how it was for me, huh. I want to know how it was for you.”
“Eh” Jiyong tried to find the right words. “I think the main character was a jerk, and that their parents treated both children unequally, especially the father.”
“I know, right? Seemingly the brother became the villain not because he was born evil…but because he felt different, they made the villain, not him.”
Henry was happy that someone finally understood what he was trying to say.
“Yeah! I mean, if they adopted him in first place it was because they were willing to give him love and warmth, and not only to make him feel different! Otherwise they could perfectly have made him a slave or something!”
“Was it a case of bad parenting, perhaps?”
“I’d say…favoritism” Jiyong corrected.
“That’s seen as bad parenting, you know?” Henry replied.
“Yeah, whatever…want to have something to eat?”
Henry was expecting this question; even before the movie started he felt how his stomach grumped and grumped nonstop; but he was afraid to ask before, seeing how the movie was about to start. So he decided to hold in.
They stopped by the food court of the mall they were in, and decided to take different paths each other to see what they wanted to eat; Henry picked up a Mexican food locale, whilst Jiyong just chose a simple place where they sold Korean food.
“You know?” Henry started out a conversation as they were eating “These things that are sold under the name of ‘Taco’ aren’t what people would call a taco there in Mexico?”
“Well, I heard something like that a while ago…but never really got interested in the matter”
“My dad once visited Mexico, and when he asked for a taco he got something that he didn’t expect.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t remember, but they don’t add cheese to it, and he said they hardly ever eat fish on a taco…in fact it doesn’t have as much ingredients as this one I am eating right now!” Henry was really into the conversation. “And it isn’t fried”
Jiyong tried to figure out how a real taco was supposed to look like, but eventually gave up in trying.
“I don’t know…perhaps I’ll Google it later…can’t really imagine how it really looks.”
“Me neither” Henry just shrugged.
Suddenly Henry felt as if the tension that once was held between the two just had disappeared. It was awesome.
“What is it?”
“I really like going out with you…it’s funny”
“Thanks…I guess”
Jiyong and Henry were both tired; so they were resting, back to back in the grass, near Henry’s house.
After eating, they made some window-shopping and real shopping, now Henry had a new pair of high-top sneakers and a jacket, and Jiyong had a new pair of acid-washed jeans and converse too.
Jiyong even offered going shopping with him again, to tell him which clothes fitted Henry best. It wasn’t until then that Henry finally got that Jiyong was also a fashionista, just like Zhou Mi.
But the thing was that Zhou Mi liked stylish, fancy clothes, and Jiyong was more into hip-hop ones, but he didn’t know whether Jiyong like fancy clothes as well, he made a mental note to ask him later.
Then the image of how awkward and funny Zhou Mi would look in a hip hop outfit came to his mind, and Henry had no other choice but to laugh off until he finally noticed Jiyong was glaring at him.
It was almost dark. And Henry hadn’t feel so accomplished and tranquil in a really long time.
Jiyong in the other hand, was also feeling very happy; he had never felt this way with any of his friends before, and that was new, because he had never recalled how sweet Youngbae’s smile was, or the handsome looks Seunghyun possessed. Or Little Seunghyun’s jokes, or Daesung awkward laugh when he was feeling uneasy, or Minji’s pretty eyes.
And then there was Henry; the boy who seemed to shine the most out of all the people he had ever met, with the prettiest mouth ever, cheerful eyes, very intelligent. With him everything seemed to become easier or better. Suddenly he saw other people and could tell how special and different each person was from another.
Like, too surreal to him.
He liked it when he was the only one who consoled Henry back in the movie, when he was sobbing because that actor was just too good with the role and he was playing the hurt boy very well. He would draw circles on Henry’s back and that’d calm him.
It was wonderful.
Now he was leaning on his back and he could feel how Henry’s hair brushed his, he could perceive his sweet aroma and feel his warm body. Like that time where Seungri’s little sister was born and he got the chance to carry her.
He was nine years old, to him the fact that such a little creature like her could emit love and warmth was like the most amazing, incredible experience ever.
But now he was feeling this way, but different. Perhaps Henry didn’t emit love and warmth just like that little baby back then, but he was something different; Jiyong wanted to carry him and feel relieved and peaceful. Of course that wasn’t possible, but still.
He liked how this puzzling foreigner made him feel.
Well, more like his puzzling foreigner, because Henry puzzled no one other than Jiyong. That was what made him different from any other people.
Jiyong closed his eyes and rested his head on Henry’s shoulders. Every trace of awkward had already been erased a long time ago, he could feel Henry’s breath, and sighed deeply.
It was when it hit him.
Seunghyun’s words, Youngbae’s advices and his brother’s jokes. Everything.
They ended up being all true. He liked Henry, more than a friend; he totally didn’t like him in a platonic way.
He liked Henry in a romantic way. He didn’t know what the other’s reaction was going to be, but couldn’t care less. All he knew was that he wanted to hold Henry and never let go of him anymore. Tell him how much of a wreck he just made in his heart and how much he needed him now that the mess he just created within his chest was unfixable.
He slowly took Henry’s hand and squeezed it a bit, then let go of it again.
Still, the thought of Henry probably not feeling the same way made his heart sink.
On Saturday at 8:58pm Ji Yong said: “If you get to see Seunghyun-hyung today night, or tomorrow morning, punch him for me, hard. Will you?”
YB: …
JY: And later on please thank that idiot for me. Thanks.
Can you guess what was the movie Henry and Jiyong watched? xD
so yeah...15th chapter and all we've got so far is one person realizing their feelings...perhaps we shall expect a happy ending by chapter 100 8DDDD joke, joke
Thanks for reading <3
Tags: crossover: super bang, fandom: big bang, fandom: super junior, pairing: hendragon, rating: pg-13, title: step back
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